Trust and Obey.

"Now in these days when the disciples were increasing in number, a complaint by the Hellenists arose against the Hebrews because their widows were being neglected in the daily distribution. 2 And the twelve summoned the full number of the disciples and said, “It is not right that we should give up preaching the word of God to serve tables. 3 Therefore, brothers, pick out from among you seven men of good repute,full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we will appoint to this duty. 4 But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word.” 5 And what they said pleased the whole gathering, and they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit, and Philip, and Prochorus, and Nicanor, and Timon, and Parmenas, and Nicolaus, a proselyte of Antioch. 6 These they set before the apostles, and they prayed and laid their hands on them.

7 And the word of God continued to increase, and the number of the disciples multiplied greatly in Jerusalem, and a great many of the priests became obedient to the faith." (Acts 6:1-7)

The matter of obedience is a human's constant area of struggle, especially in relation to God. Our obedience to God is vital to our relationship with Him.

First thing that came to mind with the word 'obedience..'

Being "Called" is a hugely important concept in obedience. In the Kingdom of God, in order to serve your King, you must be obedient, you must be called. 

The story of the disciples figuring which were called to "serve tables," discloses the importance of obedience. A need arose where the widows of the Hellenists were being neglected in the distribution of food, so the disciples go about the process of finding those to serve through prayer. And the criteria they use are those who are "full of faith and of the 
Holy Spirit,". 

This astounds me. Why? Because the disciples sought the Lord, and had in mind to choose those not of exceptional ability or skill, or the least skilled people to fill what could be considered a less than exciting role in ministry, but those who were filled with the Spirit. In my eyes, the task of serving tables pales in desirable-ness to going out and preaching the gospel. It seems like such a menial task. 

You will of course say, "Well, God uses all things to minister to people. A position serving tables is just as amazing and important an opportunity for ministry as actually going out to preach." This is true, no denying that. But I know in my heart, there are times when I know that, but really don't feel the pleasure, or see the grace of and in such a position. 

What kept the attitude of the disciples in check? Having a tight relationship with God, and realizing obedience to Him was all they desired, obedience is the story of their lives. Their joy was in their obedience to God. 

When we obey, we do not enter a position lightly, that is to say, we do not serve simply to fill a need. When a need arises, you're better off checking yourself first, by checking in with God, otherwise you will wreck yourself ( :P ). Christian burnouts and bitterness occur either because we aren't leaning on God completely, or because we decided to fill a need without being called. 

God doesn't need us to fill needs, He doesn't need us to volunteer just to be "good Samaritans". He wants obedience. 

Christians who are strong in faith, and full of the Holy Spirit, have growing, intimate relationships with Jesus, and as a result they trust and obey. Those who enter into ministry without being called to that ministry only end up causing trouble for themselves. 

Christians who pursue God, and not deeds, find themselves fully desiring to obey God by His grace, to do as Jesus leads them to do, and in the end find their relationship with God to be stronger. And not only that, but the gospel and the word of God increases, and it leads others to obedience. 

"Every time I obey, the absolute deity of God is on my side, so that the grace of God and my natural obedience are in agreement." -Oswald Chambers

The honor and glory to God in a position of lowliness is not from serving a position because you have to fill a need, but in joyful obedience to a calling. Close relationship to God keeps us from becoming bitter, distrustful, and seeing callings as "things we must do because we were told to". 

The hymn "Trust and Obey", (by John Sammis and Daniel Towner) was inspired by the simple words of childlike faith from a young, unseasoned Christian named Dwight L. Moody. 

When we walk with the Lord

  In the light of His Word,

What a glory He sheds on our way;

  While we do His good will,

  He abides with us still,

And with all who will trust and obey. 

Trust and obey,

For there’s no other way

To be happy in Jesus,

  But to trust and obey.

Your calling to ministry is a privilege and grace. It is a huge honor when you think that God desires to work through you for this specific purpose. For all He desires of us is that we trust and obey. Obedience means that we have completely placed our trust in Christ and His atonement. 

Choice.

"You are who you choose to be." A famous quote from the tear-jerker, The Iron Giant.

As a kid, I'm sure you were used to having little choice. What did you really know as a 3 year old? Sure, you had a say about what you liked or didn't like, but at the end of the nap time, your choices were limited. And, with the little knowledge you possessed as a child, there were choices you didn't know you had, and so you couldn't make them. 

SUPERMAN

Now that you're older, and (hopefully) wiser, you know the choices you have, you have the ability to make conscious decisions. 

Now that I'm older, I've become more conscious of my ability to choose, instead of letting choices happen to me. The fact is, I think I've let a lot of life happen to me. 

I've let feelings happen to me without restraint. I've let my emotions get the best of me. Each time, it felt like it just happened. I never thought about putting the brakes down to stop the rush of emotion. I never thought about choice or control in those instances, so I let them happen.

My responsibility to choose became real as I realized my life was changing; as I realized God was slowly refining me into Christ's character. 

I am responsible for making responsible choices that line up with the desires of God; the choices I make must follow the character being formed in me. 

The reason I bring this up is because I've let feelings rule me too often. I've let worry, anxiety, sadness, and happiness determine how I live. People ruled by anxiety choose not to accept peace, but neither do people who are ruled by their desire to be happy. If your goal is to keep yourself happy, and the lack of happiness is a problem, there's no rest for you. The reality is that feelings are not a way to live. They serve to help us gauge a situation, and are certainly a part of it, but they do not determine nor should they dictate a situation. 

"My peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you..." (John 14:27)

Gifts can be accepted or rejected. Just because God has promised us peace, and has it in His hands waiting for us, doesn't mean we've chosen to accept it. 

There are habits we need to break and make in tandem. 

We must break the habits of reacting, and of letting emotions and feelings get the best of us. I'm not saying feelings are bad, but I am saying that "you are as happy as you choose to be." (All this outside the realm of depression, I don't want to get into that whole other can of worms). Feel, but don't let your feelings dictate your life. 

The options we get for focus are God centered, or self-centered. Our automatic response is to worry, but a life renewed in Christ must train the reflex of leaning on God, until it becomes automatic. You have to train because there is choice involved. You choose the character you want in you, and in turn, who you want to be determines the choices you make. 

"When will my life begin?"

Ask me if I'm a patient person. 

No. The answer is often no. 

I just hide it well.

Lately it seems that I've been waiting. Waiting and waiting while everyone else around me seems to have things fall into their laps. And again, here I am, waiting. I'm almost (if not already) at the point where I'm sick of waiting. 

I think of that song in Tangled called "When will my life begin," and wonder the same thing for myself these days. When will I settle into a stable career? When will I meet 'the one'? When will I be able to buy a house? When will I be able to drive standard exceptionally well? The questions could go on forever. 

This is the point where you'll all yell at your screens quoting James 1, Isaiah 40:31, or Galatians 5:22 or shout the words "Perseverance!", "Patience is a virtue!", "Good things come to those who wait!" "Focus on the here and now!!" or "JUST Trust God!!11!11". Classic. 

To toot my own horn, having graduated from Sport/Performance Psychology, I get everything that's wrong with thinking about the "whens". If I'm being pained about the future, then I'm not focusing on the now; I'm not fully appreciating all the good that God is doing for me right here and right now, nor am I appreciating who God is and how good He is even now. How very true. But that doesn't stop me from feeling this irksome impatience every now and again, such that I feel antsy and hungering to move on to the next thing ASAP. 

So what? Why complain while I have the answers in hand? Simple solution: just find your joy in the Lord! Appreciate God and enjoy Him! 

Simply said, but not so simply done, or understood. 

For someone like me who has a mind that is constantly ticking, constantly picking things apart, and reading into every detail, and examining things as thoroughly as I possibly can, a restful mind is hard to maintain. I am a prime illustration of the danger of self-awareness, when it comes to faith. It is not bad to be self-examining, and to know yourself, but self-awareness can also produce turmoil. If you want to start learning to "find your Joy in the Lord," and "To wait upon the Lord,", self-awareness must take second place to Christ-awareness. 

In my view, the band-aid answer to my problem will tell me to stop and smell God's roses; appreciate God and count your blessings (though we do need to practice this regularly). An in-depth examination of the deeper rooted issue would say the lasting solution is that we must ask for Christ-awareness. Out of that, stems a heart yearning to worship and focus on God, a heart yielded to Him and desperate to praise Him in the midst of our impatiences, and struggles in the wait. 

Christ-awareness is a Christ centered perspective. Someone who holds that oneness with Christ is constantly reliant on Him, and seeking His perspective and desires. If I am impatient in the waiting, it is only because things are not going my way. My impatience and anxiety are not because I am actually trapped and holed up waiting like Rapunzel, but that I am discontent with how God is carrying out His plans. 

The right perspective changes everything. A Christ-aware Christian is one who is conscious of the life of Christ in him/her, and desires to be united to this life, and to live it out in full unity, no matter the cost.

Psalm 37 describes the actions and attitude of one in waiting; it describes the Godly perspective of those who wait upon the Lord. 

"Trust in the Lord and do good;
    dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
 Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

 Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him and he will do this:
 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
    your vindication like the noonday sun." (Psalm 37:3-6)

Patience in the waiting is a fruit produced out of the submission to the Spirit of God in you; patience is grown through accepting, trusting and following through with the desires of God and His planning. There is training to be done in the waiting. 

Spouse Hunter 99.

Coming out for your PC in 2015. I Skyped with a good friend of mine and, as single people do, we chatted for a while on topics related to relationships. Most of our woes as young people comes as a result of relationships. We create so much stress and grief for ourselves whether it be as a result of being in a relationship, or if we're as single as Kraft Singles. 

Cumberbatch has a girlfriend. I may have cried a bit.

As much as I seem to talk so constantly about relationships, I've been pretty content as a single lady. Since encountering God in some crazy ways the past few weeks, my heart seems settled in its prioritizing of and passion for Him. But even in that, I still have the residual muck, consequences and pains from past relationship-related situations - all crucial to pushing me closer to Him. Of course, I still want to be married, but I FINALLY get how single people are so content, and trust God so wholly. I've finally started to understand what Paul was talking about when he said he knew "how to be content in any and every situation," (Philippians 4:12). 

I never really understood surrender until I took time to know God, and I took time to learn what it was to see things His way. Peace came as I learned to see things in the context of God's will, and what He really desired of every obstacle and trial I was given. 

Trusting the will of God means believing that in all things, His will prevails, and whatever He wills or whatever things He allows to happen, happens with great purpose. When we are for God's will, we never lose out. This is a loyalty that does not come naturally to us, it's a faithfulness born of the Spirit of God in you, and nurtured through trust. All of it by grace. 

I think the best way to describe trusting and obeying God is like being carried by a current. I've never been in a current before, so I don't quite know what it's like. However, I've made a whirlpool in an above ground pool, so I guess that counts. When you're in a current, it's nice to just relax and be carried. When it comes to God's will, it's like letting yourself let go of everything you thought you had control of (but actually never ever did), and just being carried by it. No fighting, no struggling, just letting go and trusting that the current will guide you to safety (which is not the reality with most currents..this only works for the analogy). All this is not to say that there's nothing we can do or should do. We have responsibility to act in trust, to choose, and to endure in the current.

In God's will, like a current, even though you may not see the end of the line, you know you'll be in good hands on your way there. But just because you're in good hands, doesn't guarantee a smooth ride. You'll hit bumps on the way, run into some snags, like tree trunks or branches. However, all that doesn't stop the current from flowing, and it doesn't remove you from the current. Whatever obstacles you face in the stream are meant to foster endurance, perseverance, and the character of God in you. When you work through them in God's strength, and from His point of view, transformation happens. Spiritual maturity happens. 

After being brought through what has felt like a thorn bush or a collection of thick branches, I'm still in among the branches. But instead of struggling against the current, trying to find my own way through, I've been just letting the current guide me, and I'm finally starting to grasp grace, peace, and contentment in Christ. 

So, the spouse hunt is finally off, forever. No sense in worrying or rushing if what you desire is what God desires, everything else will inevitably fall in place. Don't stress, just enjoy the ride.

Do you see what I see?

I am a sucker for optical illusions. It just so happens that this one serves to illustrate something important. So is it a rabbit? Or a duck? If you're trying to be clever you'll say it's both. In any case, you'll probably want to decide if it's one or the other. Either way, you have two perspectives.

I had a chance to get away this weekend to a nature resort out by Belleville and Peterborough. It was a nice retreat from the craziness of life and the city..or so I thought. I would never be able to escape the wreckage and insanity of my own head. My brain is an awful place, it is a headache day after day. I must strive daily to keep it under God's reign and in a stable place of peace. (I must clarify that I am not insane, or going insane, but rather I am always thinking. Always, and it can be maddening.) 

This weekend I had a lot on my mind. I would think and stress about certain people, and scenarios, all of them beyond my control. In every situation, I struggle to relinquish "control" by not thinking about certain things. When you get stressed over something you're thinking about, it's because you're trying to control it by thinking about it. At least, that's how it works in my case. Some things I had thought I had let go of had come back to haunt me recently, and the thoughts were relentless this weekend. 

I took time after dinner to just sit by the lake and pour my heart out before God. I was at my limit, and the thoughts were overwhelming. It didn't help that I had only gotten 3 hours of sleep the night before. My brain felt like it was going to explode. 

These are my most unfiltered moments. This is the side of me no one will ever get to see. In these moments, they are as personal as I will ever get with God or anyone. I become completely broken and raw. When I pray and meet with God in these times, I am as honest about everything with Him as possible. 

I told Him about how frustrated I was, how doubtful I was that all this discipline (Hebrews 12) was worth it. I wasn't sure that anything was worth it at all. I wasn't sure what the sufficient grace, and goodness of God in 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 meant for where I was at. I expressed how defeated I was. I could quote 2 Corinthians 12:9 to myself backwards and forwards. I could easily declare how God's grace was sufficient and His power made perfect in my current weakness, but what good is it when you are in utter suffering, and have no idea what that passage truly looks like? Anyone can quote scripture to someone else or even to their own self when there are trials and pain, but to understand the truth behind it takes so much more. 

I was pretty desperate to hear God's answer. "I know this discipline is for my good, for righteousness sake but why? Is it worth it? Why did you have to let all this happen this way? When will it end? Why do I have to care so much about things I am striving so hard to not care about?"

I paused, and He responded to me in a few ways. First, a friend's text, reminding me that 2 Corinthians 12:8-10, is not about focusing on getting over the pain, or being pain/suffering-free as the end goal, it is learning to depend on the sufficiency of God. What a blessing it is to lean on a God who does not leave you to suffer needlessly. Then I heard the Lord say to my heart: "I do not do this to cause you harm." I did know this deep down, but I needed to be reminded. He then added that trying not to care about the people or circumstance was not the solution to my suffering. What I needed was to learn to see things from His perspective. And through all this, He flooded me with His peace. I had found my sanity and rest in God. 

Perspective. That word I had mentioned earlier in this entry. In all things, in all this process of pain and suffering God wants me to see things from His perspective. What you focus on shifts your perspective of things. I had been focusing on how I would deal with the painful situations at hand, but very little on how God was using all this to discipline me. I had my mind set on trying to deal with the distractions, instead of the race at hand. Had I been fully focused on God, I would have kept in mind His view of things, His perspective on the people and the situation. God solidified His words to me by giving me Oswald Chamber's Utmost entry for Monday. God's goal for us lies in the process. The training happens now, not later, and the preparation and discipline we endure is the goal in itself. This is what Hebrews 12 is all about.

When you set your focus on God, He provides you with His perspective, which is always good and trustworthy. This is all a part of training and being disciplined by God. 

Just do it.

I've been spending my free time getting fit again. It's still a far cry from my high school days when I could run laps and laps, for what seemed like an eternity, without tiring. Nowadays I've taken to saying to myself, "No more excuses," and just heading out for a bike ride, a jog or doing my regular workout without delay. So far it's been good.

Nike had it right, "Just do it." Simple and to the point, straightforward and commanding. Just do it. Get 'er done. There's the side of obedience we struggle with, just doing what we've been commanded to do. We always talk about that, we discuss the excuses we make in order to justify why we can't or won't do something that God has explicitly commanded us to do. Then there's the other side that says, "If you do this Lord, then I promise such and such to you.." and we make some pretty tragic vows with the Lord, when He just wants us to obey. 

"36 And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. 37 Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil."

(Matthew 5:36-37)

Jesus was talking about making oaths and how you shouldn't do it because it's not necessary, and it's not wise. You either make promises you cannot keep, or promises that are beyond what you bargained for (and not remotely close to being in your control), and in either case, making such vows isn't exactly God honouring, or God-trusting. Letting your "yes be yes," fits into obedience and submission. Don't give yourself room to make excuses, or to create ultimatums or "tragic vows". A submissive servant does what the master says without question. He is able to do this because, he trusts, knows, loves and respects the master. 

15 “If you love me, you will keep my commandments." (John 14:15)

If you love the Lord, just do it. I find it funny to imagine Jesus saying something like, "If you love me, think on it for a few weeks, then come back and let me know if that's gonna do it for you or not. If you're not sure we can make a bargain or you promise me something and I'll promise you back such and such to make sure you get it done." Thankfully, he never said any of that. 

I've been reading through Judges and arrived at Jephthah and his own tragic vow (Judges 11:29-40). A vow that absolutely did not need to be made. God was with him, God was going to hand the Ammonites over to him, all Jephthah needed to do was obey. But his story illustrated that making vows or oaths in the stead of "just doing it," and trusting God, just leads to tragedy and heartbreak. 

There is a lot of baggage we hold onto that keeps us from just doing what we're told. Our wants and our desires often get in the way, dancing in front of us as huge distractions. It's our responsibility to deal with all that and let it go, so that we do not give ourselves excuses not to trust God, and therefore not obey. I've heard it said multiple times, "Delayed obedience is disobedience." Delays will always create more obstacles than you need. 

When the command is clear, just go for it. Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes'.  

Taking Action.

Being bold for the right things is always admirable. Taking initiative to do the right thing is even better. The lesson at Jr. High was about being bold and taking big steps of faith. The illustrative passage? Peter walking on water. 

28 And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” 29 He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind,[d] he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” 31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” 32 And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33 And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” (Matthew 14:28-33)

The curious thing I wanted to talk about from this passage was something a friend pointed out to me: "Isn't it just weird how Peter asks Jesus if he can come out to Him on the water? He doesn't wait for Jesus to tell him, or to invite him. He asks Jesus to ask him to go." So very weird.

It does make sense that at that point in the disciples' journeys with Christ, Peter was one of those closest to Jesus, so of course he would want to experience life the way Jesus did and thus want to walk out onto the water. But to me, that doesn't explain completely why Peter would tell Jesus to invite him out. Why didn't Peter just ask Jesus if he could and go? Why did he ask Jesus to command/invite him? 

I see it as an exercise of trust and obedience. I see this as a desire of Peter's to take initiative to seek the Lord's will and to act on it. The passage shows Peter's deep devotion to Christ, his deep love and respect for the master. Peter wanted to be with Jesus, but he needed the assurance that this was the right way to go about it. He needed to place his faith somewhere, and that was in the good character and will of Christ. While he did end up faltering, we can't fault him in his bold desire to seek Jesus. Peter took the initiative to go after Jesus. 

I think it's commonplace for Christians to wait for Jesus to come to us. It shouldn't always be like that. That is not to say you do not wait for Christ's specific calling, not at all. This is not to say you do not wait for God. What I mean is summed up perfectly in this:

 7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. (Matthew 7:7-12)

A relationship with Jesus is active. It's our job to take initiative and to actively seek God's will and God Himself, as opposed to just waiting around for God's will to find us. 

Not by might, nor by power.

Jesus and Apple Juice. The perfect combo.

""Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit," says the Lord of hosts." (Zechariah 4:6)

I'm pretty sure I use this blog mostly to post important intellectual and spiritual digestions for myself, so I don't forget the important lessons learned. I may have digested things, but there's still a ways to go before these lessons and thoughts are well integrated into my life.

Anyways, today's post has its origins from Sunday's message. The message came from 1 Samuel 13:22-14:22. The speaker spoke about how God acts and does great things as we initiate and act, even with the little that we have, using the story of how Jonathan and his sword bearer single-handedly take out an army of Philistines. As Christians we ought not to be stagnant and unmoved, we ought to say "Yes!" to the will of God and pursue it no matter the cost. When we act, we see God do great things. Poignant and energetic, the message had all the qualities of a glorious spark, but would it catch? I thought that to myself as he closed. I wondered if God would set Cedarview Alliance Church ablaze spiritually. I wondered if the church community within would be so stirred as to act on the message and become ignited that we would truly see "revival". There was nothing wrong with the message, however as I was led to examine the message closer, and to discern what was said, I knew I had gotten a wrong focus somewhere down the line. The fault was not to be put anywhere, but I had to reevaluate, and reexamine what I had left with. 

My mom used this analogy, as with photography, we can get the focus ever so slightly off, and it changes the whole picture. That was exactly what had happened to me. I had left with the thought of "I must get out there and be bold and do things for God with great confidence and trust in Him no matter the circumstance, then I will see Him do great things." I came into this year with confidence in learning to trust and obey God. I had a great desire to be a submissive servant, seeking to be obedient to His will alone. But in my current weakened state of mind, that incomplete understanding worked its way into my heart easily, and it felt as if all I had once focused on was changed. 

In the message, the passage in Samuel, was used as an illustration of how when we have faith in God and use the little we have to act for His glory, He is faithful to act. Yes, this is true, but it only painted half the picture. Obedience was implied, but not highlighted enough. What was not clearly spelled out for me (trust me, most times I need things to be clearly stated and spelled out), was that in all things, Jonathan and his sword bearer were acting in obedience to God. God did not do a miracle with their single sword because He wanted to honor the fact that they were using their little faith to act. God worked a miracle because Jonathan was obedient, and this one sword which God provided was enough to accomplish His will. 

No amount of initiative or passion to do things for God will make great things occur. It is in obedience to the will of God that we see God work. 

So when we act, it is not because we want to exercise our tiny faith and thus see God work His great power. When we act, it is because we act in obedience and in alignment with the will of God, and in this God will use whatever is necessary, whether big or small, to accomplish His great will through us. Faith plays its role in trusting that God's will is good, and He will accomplish His will. All this keeps us in a humble position. God does not need us or our permission to do great things, He is capable of accomplishing what He desires of His own power. He chooses to use us, in order that we might know Him more. 

A question we must ask God as we live in obedience is this, "What is it you want me to know about you Lord?" God uses all things in order that we might know Him more and draw closer to Him. 

When you see, "Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit," know that "by the Spirit," means not just using the Spirit's power. "By the Spirit," is acting according to the Spirit, it is life according the Spirit, life in surrender and obedience to God and His will. Out of obedience, you will inevitably see God do great things.

Pressing On.

My mind went straight to the Relient K song as soon as I typed that title (oh the early 2000's).

Anyways.

Here I am. I'm back home after having been gone 2 weeks. I'm back in my familiar surroundings and I'm back in a familiar situation. A situation very close and similar to where I was back in December, before my big trip to Hong Kong. 

Before leaving the country, both times I was in a place of feeling really spiritually lame. Lame in the exact sense of the word - feeling incapable, stuck and helpless. In both cases I didn't really feel like spending time with God. Being thrown into a different culture was another added stress, because that meant adjusting, it meant being on guard and more self-conscious. All that takes energy, and all my focus is poured into those face-guarding activities, so my spiritual welfare usually suffers. 

Now I come back, feeling the same way I did back in December. This time around, I'm not panicked, or feeling a sense of desperation to get myself "fixed". Facing this scenario, round two, I have trained through the first round, and have learned from the past. The wind and waves have knocked me down, but I know God hasn't left me, I know He will bring me through this, this is only a season. 

The thing to do is just get up and get back in the saddle as soon as you can. I've started to think less on the "failures", and pitfalls I've run into, and have just learned to keep enduring, continue striving. One step at a time, claiming the little victories. 

When your focus gets distorted, you just have to check-in, change perspective and set it right again:

"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God." (Colossians 3:1-3)

It's in us to be able to set eyes on things above, on the things of God, as opposed to the things on this planet that steal our attention constantly. And the promises of God are so much more assuring, so much more peace-bringing and joy-filling.

Our first "job" has always been to love God and to serve Him wherever we are. Time's pretty limited so it's best to humbly learn from the mistakes, saddle up and press onward, hearts set on our hope in Christ, always persevering. 

The Little Things.

I have been speeding through my past few weeks. Every day goes by on a rapid fire setting and before I know it, I can't even recall what was so special about that day. I don't recall learning anything or anything important happening. 

I don't know about you, but I strongly dislike feeling that. I don't like going through a day, just having it pass me by like it was just another breath. The feeling of coming away from a day not having picked up anything, or learned anything about life, the world or more specifically, God, leaves me feeling sick and dull. 

The Little Details.

Reading yesterday's Utmost entry was a great reminder. Chambers talked about how we forget about the little things; we don't focus or pay attention to the details sometimes, we deem the small things as insignificant. But Chambers notes that "Nothing in our lives is a mere insignificant detail to God." To quote more of Chambers:

"You no more need a day off from spiritual concentration on matters in your life than your heart needs a day off from beating. As you cannot take a day off morally and remain moral, neither can you take a day off spiritually and remain spiritual. God wants you to be entirely His, and it requires paying close attention to keep yourself fit."

Pretty much sums up my thoughts completely. We must actively focus on the details of a day. We must actively learn to discern that the small details of our days and lives are significant to God. God can and will use all things, big and small, to teach and admonish us. He desires to use all things to bring us to a knowledge of Himself. Never, never, never think that God's not working.

We need to practice listening to and seeking the Lord in the mundane and small things. It's easy to become jaded to the world, and God's power. It is completely in our freewill to choose whether to see an event as the providence of God, or just a random occurrence. But the more we choose to see even the smallest events as a random happening, it makes us more dull and unappreciative of who God is, and how powerful and gracious He really is. 

I often find myself forgetting that God is the one who has  the final say, this often happens when I don't spend a good amount of focused time reading the Bible or in worship in general. The focus gets put on myself and how upset or tired I am. I get mad at the small things and see them as obstacles instead of opportunities. 

Submitting to the Spirit of Christ in us is important in paying attention to the details. He shows us the Father's heart, and knows what's up. He wants to draw us closer to God. When we submit to Him, we find that the small things are important, the small details matter.God shows us His sovereignty and teaches us great reliance in Himself and as a result, grows us in wisdom as we bring before Him all things in our lives. 

Committing all things to God means throwing our complete weight on Him, trusting Him absolutely and acting. We must say: "I trust you, give me or withhold from me whatever you choose. Lord, what You will, when You will, how You will." And this applies to all things in our life, big and small, and God will work it for the good He intends. 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

    and do not lean on your own understanding.

 

In all your ways acknowledge him,

    and he will make straight your paths."(Proverbs 3:5-6) 

Exodus

Typing with a cat around is extremely difficult. I have one currently sitting on my wrist as I attempt to type.

Back to the relevant and the point of this post...

God spoke to me during Jr High (Wednesday night), and I had not expected Him to. I hadn't anticipated hearing anything poignant or so direct from Him, and I don't know why. He's always speaking and always teaching I guess I usually fall into a state of mind where I don't always expect Him to speak so directly. Part of listening and hearing from God is having our own hearts open and aware to things He would be telling us at any given moment and in any situation. 

This time it came as I was leading the girl's small group, and we read from Exodus 16. God has led the Israelites out of Egypt and they have been in the desert some time:

2 And the whole congregation of the people of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness, 3 and the people of Israel said to them, “Would that we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the meat pots and ate bread to the full, for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.” (Exodus 16:2-3)

6 So Moses and Aaron said to all the people of Israel, “At evening you shall know that it was the Lord who brought you out of the land of Egypt, 7 and in the morning you shall see theglory of the Lord, because he has heard your grumbling against the Lord. For what are we, that you grumble against us?” 8 And Moses said, “When the Lord gives you in the evening meat to eat and in the morning bread to the full, because the Lord has heard your grumbling that you grumble against him... (Exodus 16:6-8)

It's easy to see the parallels: Egypt is my life before Christ - captive to sin. Now I've got freedom in Christ and the deserts I find myself in change from season to season. This season's desert is unemployment.

The challenge of living through the deserts is learning to trust God. Golly gee! Isn't that earth shattering! Sarcasm aside, look at the Israelites, God has just come and set them free from years upon years of slavery, a true miracle and act of grace and they turn and throw it back in His face. The Israelites declare that they would have rather died in Egypt than have been led into the desert to die. I'm sure we've all done or felt similar things to this. 

There it is, trust issues. We all fall into that at some point in our lives. See what I mean? Do we not regularly face this challenge in trusting that God does not lead us places needlessly or without a plan? No step or action is without purpose or consideration, and each step is planned out of God's goodness and love. 

I know that there are situations where I do fail at trusting in the goodness of God, and worry and wonder at whether or not I will make it out of this desert alive. I may not grumble like the Israelites, but I do sometimes forget that God did not lead me to this place unintentionally. 

In spite of the lack of trust, ungratefulness and complaints, God shows His great love for Israel in providing for their needs. He does the same for us. God is true to His character, even though the Israelites still do not get it, He demonstrates His trustworthiness and love to them in a tangible way.   

Through all this, think about your current life situation. Where are you at? Is it a desert, or a land of plenty? Are you trusting in the goodness and purposefulness of God? These are questions worth exploring, to help you step back to see where you stand. Even reading Exodus 16 is enough to help you examine your situation. 

Enjoy the exploration, and happy Thursday!

 

The Response

Last entry I voiced my fears, fears of future pain and suffering, concluding that this arose as a result of my eyes looking to "the right and the left" (Proverbs 4:27). I left that entry asking myself essentially, what my confidence in God was like, where was I placing my faith? Did I really trust in His love for me and His goodness? 

Coming into Saturday night, the topic of the service was about courage. The discussion revolved around living a life filled by the Spirit, and acting in courage as the Spirit enables and leads us. It didn't hit me until now that God was continuing the conversation about my fears and He was trying to teach me the perspective I needed to fully adopt:

God is good and He is faithful. Even though I may not want to endure suffering, I know He treasures me, and seeks only to give and to work in me the best. 

This isn't news to me, but it's definitely something that I've found takes practice upon practice to grasp (much like anything else that involves faith). I feel like I have the memory of a goldfish when it comes to these things. 

In all my suffering, and all my sadness, when I question whether or not it's worth it to believe and obey God when I fear for the future, He is faithful. He is patient. He gently redirects my straying gaze back onto Himself, settles my fears, and we continue on walking together. In the moments where my fears abounded, where I doubted if God was worth it, it never phased Him. These moments of weakness do not shock the Lord or surprise Him. 

In the case of my story, he settled the dust and then spoke gently. He didn't come in a huff to prove Himself to me, He doesn't have to prove Himself to me, He is God, after all. Instead, all He did was come along side me and revealed to me His glory. 

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:1-2)

Eyes that are fixed on Jesus and the end goal, instead of the hurdles along the way, remember His power, goodness and faithfulness.