Pursuit & Passion

Pursuit 

I was asked what it takes to inspire people for God. Truth be told, I really have no idea. I don't know what it takes for a spark to ignite between an individual and God. What does it take for an individual to value his/her heavenly Father? All I know is what God has brought me through, and my personal experiences with Him. I have come to know Him from being in places of absolute weakness and need, and I have known Him in the day to day shuffle. I don't know why I am so loyal to God, by that I mean I can't explain the affinity I have towards Him. This loyalty is truly born out of the Spirit of God in me, He helped ignite the spark. When I took one tiny step towards Him, He came leaping from far across the greatest expanses to reveal who He was to me, and He does this daily. God has shifted my perspective to His so drastically that I can't help but want to follow His lead, and follow Him.

If I really think about it, what inspires me to pursue God, and what makes me passionate about Him, is that I see how helpless I am every day, and I have seen how great He is every day. This realization happens when we connect the events of our life back to God in worship; it happens in prayer, singing praise and in studying the Bible when we encounter life from day to day. Passion for God happens when you realize Christ is the only the hope you have. I've been studying my Bible quite a bit, but two things (in tandem with meditating on and studying the word of God) have really have given me perspective in pursuing God: prayer and fasting. 

Persistent Prayer

"A prayer-less life, is a prideful life." -from Rob McKee sermon on Persistent Prayer. I've been checking out some of the messages from the Life Center, and so far I've enjoyed what I've heard. 

As I've stated in earlier entries, the power of prayer lies in how God conforms our will to be like His; prayer is submission and conformation to the will of God. The effectiveness of persistent prayer is not because God loves to hear us pester Him with the same request, and needs to hear it a certain amount of times before He acts. Biblical persistence always has to do with being persistent to the glory of God. Persistence is not interpreted as 'pestering' to God, because you persist for the right reason, because you desire what He desires. 

The effectiveness of persistent prayer lies in how God shows us who He is in it; God teaches us reliance on Him, and to know His desires through persistent prayer. Your prayers for a specific need have the potential to evolve; prayer evolves in full submission. Until God is your sole desire, and until you depend on Him always and in all ways, you will always have room for your prayer life to grow.  

Slowing down to fast

“Yet even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning;" (Joel 2:12)

In this day and age, fasting happens quite regularly on schedule; some of us participate in Lent, Muslims have Ramadan. Outside of designated fasting periods, to me, the concept of fasting has always been something old fashioned, and meant for those special designated occasions. Call me dense, or ignorant, or what have you, but I had never fasted before. I just never considered fasting to be anything useful to my relationship with God. 

The effectiveness of fasting arises when we fast consciously, with intention and purpose. It's easy to not eat, go about your day and call that fasting, but in fact, that's just starving yourself needlessly. Like prayer, fasting is to the glory of God. Fasting has taught me reliance on God, and almost acts as blinders to help me to set my sights on Him only. By your hunger, you are reminded moment by moment of the sustaining goodness of God, and perhaps given a physical representative and reminder for a hunger for Him. Fasting loses its effectiveness the moment you start thinking about what you're missing. People fast from multiple things, Facebook, TV shows, food, specific foods etc, but the moment you start to concern yourself with yourself, you lose out on the purpose of the fast.

As cheesy as this sounds, when you fast, you starve yourself of one physical, earthly thing, in order that you may know what it is to be filled by God. It is a deeply personal act, and so for people like the Pharisees to publicize it, to make their suffering known, just makes them look really stupid. Fasting is one of the personal, intentional actions we take when we are desiring to pursue God full on, when the distractions of the world just seem to be a bit overwhelming. So long as you don't get distracted by what you're fasting from, God uses fasting to turn our gaze to Him in such a powerful way. 

One who has complete reliance on God has made God his/her refuge. He becomes the place you go to when you are looking for safety, comfort, recovery, strength and protection. God is the one you fall back to at all times. 

"...But for me it is good to be near God;
    I have made the Lord God my refuge,
    that I may tell of all your works." (Psalm 73:28)

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” (Psalm 91:1-2)

Passion

In every way, I am thankful for the situations I encounter every day, because in studying, praying and fasting I have come to learn this:

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." (2 Corinthians 12:9)

I understand Paul's passion and joy of being able to boast in the weakness, in order that the power of Christ may rest on him. I too accept and have started to find joy in my weakness and need, because when I am weak, I am given the chance to lean on God even more. I have no choice but to trust Him, as I ought to do in the good times and the bad. For every moment of decision and choice, in trials or peace, each situation is a moment to re-evaluate my perspective so that eventually and completely conforms to God's. 

Sunday Morning Motives.

I remember the time when I used to go to church because I wanted to learn about God. Or maybe I don't. I think for as long as I can remember, I've always gone attended Sunday morning services with the intent of just seeing people. I think the last time I had gone to church with the intent of seeking God first, was when I was a kid. Now that I'm an adult, I'm looking back on my 18 years of church attendance and questioning my motives after all these years.

If you look at the purpose of church, it exists for Christians to come together in community, to seek God, and to build one another up in order to serve the will of God. So in a sense, church is about seeing people. But for me, and probably many others, church has/had become just another social institution, a place to meet people, socialize and maybe find a spouse in the process. Sunday mornings become another day of the week to meet up with your Christian friends and chill while the message flies over your head. I'm not saying that this is the case for absolutely everyone, but I know this is where my head was at for the longest time. I can't say that my intentions to be at church were 100% ministry and God focused, they most certainly weren't.

Let's be honest here, I can't be the only one who has been here/is here, or has done/does this. 

Fill 'er up.

Since when did Sunday morning become about me? My biggest frustration is pointed back at myself. Sunday mornings at church exist with the capacity to make us overflow as Christians. Sunday services aren't meant to fill you up; the sermon alone does not have the ability to fill you up spiritually. The filling is something you must do in your own personal relationship with Christ; in your own time, in small groups, in personal devotions. If you look at the purpose of church, and Sundays, it's meant for us to pour out. Christians come together, united in and for the will of God, and we give of ourselves sacrificially to one another and to those around us. Ideally, we come to church on Sunday already pretty full, and the sermon over-fills us, causing us to overflow. We can pour out because our cup is running over. 

I find myself attending a Sunday service half full or less than half, expecting the sermon to give me enough to be almost, just full. In my experience, when I come to a service half-empty, I'm self-focused: "How can the sermon serve me? What can it do for me?" as opposed to, "Who/what/where/when do I serve with this?"

(Keep in mind, I say all this with regard to mature Christians, not to those who are not Christian, or are just checking church out for the first time).

Social butterfly

When I come in to church with the sole intent of hanging out with my Christian peeps, or hopefully meeting some cute Christian guy, I'm losing out. This is not to say socializing is not a part of being in church or coming on Sundays, or that God cannot grow me as a Christian through it. My point is this: examine your motives. This past Sunday's sermon was about self-deception. I'd say I've been deceiving myself about my motives for coming to church for the past 14 years. I was self-serving; friends first, God second. I still learned about God, but I wasn't deliberately seeking His will. 

I can't say that I was in a 'Body' mindset for the longest time. I came to church to socialize while doing my thang. I had my problems and struggles, talked them out with my Christian friends without looking at them from a perspective of a greater purpose, the bigger picture. I knew I was part of a body, but my mind wasn't set on outright living as a member of the body. I just came in, sat down, listened to a sermon then socialized and left to do more socializing. I had some passion for God, but it got lost in the midst of my desire to see my friends. 

Perspective.

If you have a moment to think, after reading this, then use it to examine yourself. Check your heart and check your motives. Why? Because you're here for one thing, and one thing only, God. Every little thing you struggle with, every good and bad thing, trains you to turn eyes back to God, until you see things from His point of view. Let Sunday service fall under that perspective, like everything else in your life. Sundays are meant for service, not to ourselves, but to God first. 

"Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ." (1 Peter 1:13)

This is the standard for self-examination. This is the perspective we must have from Monday to Sunday, day in day out. 

Do you see what I see?

I am a sucker for optical illusions. It just so happens that this one serves to illustrate something important. So is it a rabbit? Or a duck? If you're trying to be clever you'll say it's both. In any case, you'll probably want to decide if it's one or the other. Either way, you have two perspectives.

I had a chance to get away this weekend to a nature resort out by Belleville and Peterborough. It was a nice retreat from the craziness of life and the city..or so I thought. I would never be able to escape the wreckage and insanity of my own head. My brain is an awful place, it is a headache day after day. I must strive daily to keep it under God's reign and in a stable place of peace. (I must clarify that I am not insane, or going insane, but rather I am always thinking. Always, and it can be maddening.) 

This weekend I had a lot on my mind. I would think and stress about certain people, and scenarios, all of them beyond my control. In every situation, I struggle to relinquish "control" by not thinking about certain things. When you get stressed over something you're thinking about, it's because you're trying to control it by thinking about it. At least, that's how it works in my case. Some things I had thought I had let go of had come back to haunt me recently, and the thoughts were relentless this weekend. 

I took time after dinner to just sit by the lake and pour my heart out before God. I was at my limit, and the thoughts were overwhelming. It didn't help that I had only gotten 3 hours of sleep the night before. My brain felt like it was going to explode. 

These are my most unfiltered moments. This is the side of me no one will ever get to see. In these moments, they are as personal as I will ever get with God or anyone. I become completely broken and raw. When I pray and meet with God in these times, I am as honest about everything with Him as possible. 

I told Him about how frustrated I was, how doubtful I was that all this discipline (Hebrews 12) was worth it. I wasn't sure that anything was worth it at all. I wasn't sure what the sufficient grace, and goodness of God in 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 meant for where I was at. I expressed how defeated I was. I could quote 2 Corinthians 12:9 to myself backwards and forwards. I could easily declare how God's grace was sufficient and His power made perfect in my current weakness, but what good is it when you are in utter suffering, and have no idea what that passage truly looks like? Anyone can quote scripture to someone else or even to their own self when there are trials and pain, but to understand the truth behind it takes so much more. 

I was pretty desperate to hear God's answer. "I know this discipline is for my good, for righteousness sake but why? Is it worth it? Why did you have to let all this happen this way? When will it end? Why do I have to care so much about things I am striving so hard to not care about?"

I paused, and He responded to me in a few ways. First, a friend's text, reminding me that 2 Corinthians 12:8-10, is not about focusing on getting over the pain, or being pain/suffering-free as the end goal, it is learning to depend on the sufficiency of God. What a blessing it is to lean on a God who does not leave you to suffer needlessly. Then I heard the Lord say to my heart: "I do not do this to cause you harm." I did know this deep down, but I needed to be reminded. He then added that trying not to care about the people or circumstance was not the solution to my suffering. What I needed was to learn to see things from His perspective. And through all this, He flooded me with His peace. I had found my sanity and rest in God. 

Perspective. That word I had mentioned earlier in this entry. In all things, in all this process of pain and suffering God wants me to see things from His perspective. What you focus on shifts your perspective of things. I had been focusing on how I would deal with the painful situations at hand, but very little on how God was using all this to discipline me. I had my mind set on trying to deal with the distractions, instead of the race at hand. Had I been fully focused on God, I would have kept in mind His view of things, His perspective on the people and the situation. God solidified His words to me by giving me Oswald Chamber's Utmost entry for Monday. God's goal for us lies in the process. The training happens now, not later, and the preparation and discipline we endure is the goal in itself. This is what Hebrews 12 is all about.

When you set your focus on God, He provides you with His perspective, which is always good and trustworthy. This is all a part of training and being disciplined by God.