Saturday, February 8, 2014

Striving, Thriving and True Love

The Intro

I don't know that attempting to start a blog is any form of good idea at all, but seeing as I am currently unemployed and have nothing better to do with my time, I figured I might as well spew out my daily thoughts, musings and unfinished sketches, sending them out as sheep to the wolves of the internet. 

I did have a blog once, an art blog, but because I never had the discipline to update it, it obviously fell by the wayside. This is somewhat heartbreaking, as I tend to emotionally attach myself to things quite easily. 

All things aside, whether anyone ends up reading my thoughts or not, it doesn't matter. At least I get to practice my writing skills and make some interesting ponderings public? I don't know that I'd count the latter as a benefit, but I guess only time will tell. 


Today's Thoughts

I follow life the way everyone does. I experience the highs and the lows, I eat, sleep, do (or rather did) school and now I'm unemployed. My world really isn't all that exciting, but I'd say the one thing keeping it alive and thriving is Christ. 

I've been going through a rough past 2 or 3 months. In that span of time I finished my Master's degree in Human Kinetics (Sport Psych), but also left my relationship with God, much like my former art blog, unattended. This is not to say that my beliefs faded, or that I became some kind of wild heathen child, but I did not invest or devote much time to knowing God, or seeking Him. In all my wanderings and lack of effort to this relationship, God never let me be; He still grew me, He still gave me knowledge and wisdom, but of course I had become quite rough around the edges. 

It's only now, after riding the emotional roller coaster of ups and downs, facing the hard times of waking up and not wanting to face the world (with all the junk and the idolatry of relationships that was going on in my heart), I had finally had enough. I wanted to get better, to heal from the idolatry and inner brokenness, and to get my life back on track with God. 

Striving. 
All the ministries I was involved in had begun to tire me out. I was feeling burnt out and emotionally exhausted. I was starting to reprioritize, but it still wasn't enough to bring me back to life. I knew that God was the only one who could ever satisfy my life, and yet I was still struggling to survive, and to get my relationship with Him back on its legs. 

I woke up one morning, and opened my Bible up to Philippians, and absorbed Paul's words, and God's truth, like a sponge. I had been thirsty for God's goodness and truth, and that hunger was finally being satisfied, after having wandered in the desert for months. 
"But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead." Phil. 3:7-11 (ESV)
That passage basically speaks for itself. Paul was thriving, not just striving all the time and exhausting his energy. In the highs and lows of his life, he knew the end goal - know God, love God, at all costs. This attitude and understanding was only possible by the Holy Spirit. To live a life pleasing to God is surely impossible, unless you know God, and only the Spirit knows God fully. 

Thriving and true love.
I had been so focused on getting better, on healing, and looking forward to the better things to come in life, that I was exhausting myself. I still had not gotten the point, until I was sent a good reminder. God speaking through a friend, boiled it all down to the simplest thing: just focus on loving God. That is our first goal as Christians, love God. Sure, there are many other aspects to Christian living that need to be sorted out, but in my understanding, if you seek to know God and to love Him first, everything else will fall in line. Healing will come, and the good will come, as we seek to love God. No one should have to strive to heal, or to recover from injury. 

Knowing that changes the way I read my Bible, I seek to know Jesus and to see everything He is and how He lived. This all powered by the Spirit of God in me. The Love of God makes us thrive. 


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