Running on Empty

Morning,

I'll let you know right now that I am a morning person. I really am. I wake up happy. I like to wake up early so I can get the day started as soon as possible, and get things done if there are things to be done. I am also a night owl; I enjoy being up as late as possible even though there is nothing better to do and it is 2 or 3AM. I do enjoy sleep thoroughly, provided I go to bed at a reasonable time (11pm or 12AM). So when I went bed at 2:30AM and my body decided to wake me up at 7:06AM, I can't say that I was thoroughly pleased. I felt like there was still more sleep to be had and enjoyed. 

My attempt to smother myself so I could once again be

in an unconscious state.

I struggled for about 45 minutes trying to fall back asleep, but to no avail. Once I'm awake, I'm usually awake for good, unless I'm particularly exhausted. It occurred to me that there must be some good reason that I woke up this early. I think of it this way: if I wake up after only 5 hours of sleep, not tired, God must have woken me up for something. If it was just to spend time with Him, then I suppose sleep can wait. I'm learning that if there is something God wants to tell you, or if He just wants to spend time with you, then take the time. Never choose to miss out on a moment with God, these tend to be very fleeting in our busy world.

I'm happy waking up to a beautiful morning sky 

anytime. So this sight was a plus.

Currently on my mind

In my mulling this morning, the lessons of yesterday and this week came to my mind. God likes to tie things together in such a strange and interesting way. I've been learning about 1. Loving God, and in order to do this properly 2. Walking by the Spirit of God, and all this through my state of emotional exhaustion from the past 3 months. 

Yesterday, I read Oswald Chamber's devo from My Utmost For His Highest (my all time favorite devo, I grew up with it, and the words grew with me). Chambers talks about Spiritual exhaustion, defining true Spiritual exhaustion being a result of service, and not sin. For me this made sense, however I was mixed up in exhaustion that resulted from both service and idolatry. I was only now learning to derive any ability to thrive through focusing on loving God. I saw Jesus do it as I read Mark 1. He walked in step with the Spirit and went right into ministry, healing people, maybe even teaching, for a whole day. I can't even imagine dealing with people for a whole day and expending so much energy and time to minister to them. It sounds utterly exhausting. Then this is what Jesus did next:

"And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed." (Mark 1:35)

Taking the time to recharge, and to prepare for the day's work in His Father's presence. Chambers essentially wrote that it is fine to be spiritually exhausted, in fact, it is a guarantee to get spiritually exhausted. Until other people learn to obtain their nourishment from God, they will inevitable need you or I to be their "source" to supply their needs.The question is where our source is, where do we derive our spiritual supply from? Our source must come from Christ, it must be founded in the truth and hope of who He is. We must be fueled by the love of Christ. 

Knowing that you'll be inevitably be exhausted as result of ministry gives us no excuse to complain about our exhaustion - it is extremely tempting to do so. Goodness knows I've done it that this past week. The attitude of complaining is simply the complete opposite of how we were called to be: "rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again, rejoice!" (Philippians 4:4). Rejoice in the glorious purpose you are fulfilling and have been called to fulfill; rejoice that God is glorified in your obedience. 

If anything, let your spiritual exhaustion be an indicator to you that you're heading in the right direction. Just don't let yourself get burnt out. It's never a good idea to overdo things, and walking according to the Spirit's leading ensures that we never bite off more than we can chew. 

 We are very much in danger of complaining about being exhausted and burning out if:

1. We do not draw from the right source 
2. We do not refuel. 

As I have been discovering, walking according to God's Spirit's leading, seeking to know Him, and as a result, loving Him, it really makes us thrive. Spending time to just get to know Jesus, and how He did things, it quenches our souls.