Training for the race.

Winter, the only time I find running pleasant.

I've been heavily emphasizing training and running a spiritual race lately. I think it must be that I'm finally coming to grips with the fact that I'm actually in a race. When you finally realize what's up, it kinda helps. I can now purposefully work towards something, to put the blinders on, to get to work, and train hard. There is a perspective shift, from temporal to eternal. 

If you ever needed encouragement in a time of struggle and adversity, read Hebrews 12. I can't even begin to explain how amazing that chapter is. The first two verses set the tone:

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:1-2)

It's like Philippians 3:13 all over again. Anything we do, whether it be entering the rest of God, or striving to run the race, takes leaving things behind. It takes work to give up the junk and burdens we cling to so desperately. But we absolutely have to give up the baggage and dead weight in order to run and rest when needed (Hebrews 4:10-11). We have a goal and purpose to accomplish. Between you and God, there's no room for idols. If you've ever wondered what you truly worship in your life, ask yourself what it is your thoughts rest on whenever you have downtime. What is it your thoughts go to without fail?

The challenges and obstacles we encounter in the race are all necessary to train us, to discipline us. Christ is "the founder and perfecter of our faith," and so, we know that we haven't earned our "sonship". We have been accept and adopted as sons and daughters, therefore we ought to act in obedience, and we can also expect to be disciplined as such. Discipline turns our gaze to God, and fosters in us righteousness and holiness. Faith is refined and perfected through discipline.

"12 Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, 13 and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed." (Hebrews 12:12-13)

Mistakes happen, sometimes we trip up, but that's what discipline is for. The key is in learning from the mistakes, and accepting the correction from discipline. The other side of discipline is in enduring, and lifting your head up even when the going is tough and feels tiring. When we submit to discipline, not only do we run properly (to avoid injury), but we prevent re-injury, allowing healing from our failures to occur the right way. We are then ready to handle the next hurdle. 

If there's one crucial thing I've realized this past week, it's that with each hurdle, I have been left with no choice but to trust God. Full surrender, and submission to godly discipline makes us realize that we would not even dare to trust in anything else, because the best option is and will always be God's way. 

Forget and not slow down

I've been feeling mopey lately. Sluggish, heavy-hearted, wearied and a tad confused. So maybe a bit more than just mopey. Call it woes of the heart, or whatever you will. I'm frustrated. As with every other Christian, I know where I want to be, but I'm not there. I come to this place often, where I see how I want my relationship with God to be, but it's not there. Usually this is because I'm worried about other things (this time, relationships), and I'm bored of the habits of devotional times. Habits are good, discipline is healthy, but for me, I don't like it when it becomes the same pattern. God is different and ever changing, so the way we devote time to Him can be just as diverse and special, and it should be. Relationships are dynamic things and thrive with creativity. 

When things become "boring", and "patterned" with God, my mind wanders, and I become vulnerable to my cruxes.

I've been hung up on the relationship thing again. It's my main crux, my Kryptonite. I'm in a place where I feel confused about some things and some people. Then I realize I've been devoting too much head space to it all, worrying about finding someone to be with. God at the center, and putting Him first would balance everything else out, but it's hard to consistently trust in that, I'm forgetful, and weak. All I want is to have Jesus as the center, to pursue Him at all costs, always putting Him first. 

I cried to God about it all on my way to work. I mourned my current state of idolatry on relationships. I cried out to God, and He answered me. 

First, He gave me the day's Utmost entry. I was reminded me to rely on no one else but Himself. I must follow through and continue to deliberately commit to Him, because He's trustworthy and good.

Then He gave me this: 

I had NO idea the Relient K song was a reference to Philippians 3:13. I had never looked up the meaning behind the lyrics. When I saw this show up in my newsfeed, I looked up Philippians 3 to refresh my memory on what it was about. 

The first half of Philippians 3 (3:1-11 ESV) is entitled: Righteousness Through Faith in Christ and the other half (3:12-21 ESV), Straining Toward the Goal. Again, reminding me to rely on God alone, not on myself, and to set my sights on the race, keeping focused on the prize. 

"13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13-14)

When you compare the lyric: "I'd rather forget and not slow down," to the passage, it works. Although it is an interpretation, I still love the whimsy and determination expressed in it. Paul's words reminded me of this: to leave behind the faults and mistakes I have made, the idols I have carved out of ignorance and selfishness, and then to strive ahead. Not slowing down to look back. Not slowing down to give myself time to think about the past. I needed to forget the relationships that were functioning only as distractions, and to fight to run the race. 

Ironically the day this all happened (Wednesday), I was teaching hockey players a workshop on Focus. Christians are running a race, and we cannot focus on anything else except the race and the prize at the end. If you look back for a second, or lose focus for a moment, it slows you down, and you waste energy. You only have enough full attention for one thing, so make sure you're setting your whole heart on the right thing and the right One.